


To home, to space

by Beta_09



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Allura (Voltron) Lives, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galaxy Garrison, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Matt Holt is a Good Sibling, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Other, Outer Space, Past Allura/Lance (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, Pilots, Pining Lance (Voltron), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23464630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beta_09/pseuds/Beta_09
Summary: Zarkon, Lotor and Honerva defeated, Allura still alive and the Lions gone back to where ever they came from.Years later and Pidge has become the top leading scientist and engineer at the Garrison, her mother, father and Matt right beside her.With Hunk now an ambassador and diplomat for Earth, Keith on the counsel of the reformed Galra nation and helping the Blade of Mamora, Allura on the Altean throne as a strong queen and Shiro working at the Garrison to teach the next generation of space explorers, Pidge felt happy even if she missed them and their adventures sometimes.And Lance, he was doing well as an ambassador for Earth and teaching young pilots at the Garrison. He had changed, Pidge noticed, at least around her he was different.----------A new mission into outer space.
Relationships: Allura & Keith (Voltron), Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Matt Holt/N-7
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ages:
> 
> Pidge: 24  
> Lance: 26  
> Hunk: 26  
> Keith: 28  
> Shiro: 34  
> Allura: 27~~~  
> Coran: 60~~~~  
> Matt: 28
> 
> ~~~~~~~  
> Allura and Coran are Alteans so i don't know how old they are supposed to be.

Pidge, or rather Katie Holt, woke up early that morning as her alarm went off.

Slamming the snooze button she tried to get out of bed. Sadly she was never good with getting out of bed nor was she good at going to sleep.  
Eventually Pide got it and went to make herself some coffee, taking a thermos from a cabinet in her small apartment kitchen. 

It had felt nice to finally get her own place, it was closer to the Galaxy Garrison than her parents house, both of which were at perfect walking distance.  
As a leading scientist and engineer she didn't get much time to herself so taking walks on her own or training in the Garrison's gym after the students had gone to bed was nice

It kept the nightmares away that had come back a month earlier.  
After almost nine years, moment's of her adventures in space and the war she had fought still haunted her somewhat.  
Sure she had seen a therapist after everything had settled down, they all had, and for the longest time it had helped her cope and she eventually stopped going.  
But she always felt fear take hold of her when Matt was late for a meeting or when her dad wasn't in his office. 

Now the nightmares had come back but Pidge knew how to deal with them, she knew they weren't real, she was the green paladin of Voltron, she was logical, she knew it couldn't be real.

Only Green wasn't here to affirm her, the Lions had left them for almost eight years.

Pidge went to her closet, taking out a pair of jeans, a dark red blouse and her Garrison lab coat.  
She noticed the green colored Garrison outfit she had worn that marked her as the green paladin, she would probably still fit it, maybe even fill it out as she had grown a bit and 'her womanly curves had shown themselves' as her mother had said.  
But Pidge ignored the uniform, she didn't have her lion anymore, she wasn't a paladin. 

Putting on her clothes and stepping into her simple yet elegant loafers, she filled up a duffelbag with some sports clothes, her work pad and her thermos, taking a pre maked breakfast from the fridge and eating it as she walked to work.

\-----------------

Lance woke up to the sound of his mother's voice, yelling for him to wake up. 

He weakly yelled that he was up already as he quickly made his way out of bed.  
Today was Monday so Lance would spent the next five days at the Garrison, sleeping there, eating there, living there as he taught the next generation of fighter pilots.  
His suitcase was already packed and he felt the excitement he always felt when he went back to the Garrison. 

He quickly threw on his Garrison uniform, looking into the closet to see his blue version of it, his mark as a paladin of Voltron. He would probably fit it, sure he had grown a bit more since then and his shoulders were a bit broader but it would still fit him, it had to fit him.  
He closed the closet door and with his suitcase in hand he went down the stairs to receive a morning breakfast from his mother.

After saying goodbye to his brothers and parents, Lance went to take the bus to the Galaxy Garrison. They had moved closer to it after the war, Lance had wanted to move to Altea but after Allura and him breaking up he just wanted to be with his family on Earth.

Lance got on the bus, it was a short ride away from the Garrison and soon Lance was standing infront of it.

As he walked to the entrance hall he noticed a short haired woman, her honey colored locks weren't as short as they had been the first time they met, when she pretend to be a boy (which would be hard for her to do now). She seemed to be grossly invested in whatever it was she was typing away at on her the screen of her pad, so instead of calling out to her, Lance waited until she had past him, he walked up behind her and put his face right next to hers.

"You coming here to rock out or something?"

With a yelp she turned around, almost slapping her pad into his face. 

"Quiznack!! Lance!! What the hell!!"

Pidge said as she recognized him, readjusting the strap of her duffelbag as it had slipped.  
After the initial shock, a playful irritation came to her. 

"How many times do I have to tell you to not do that?"

He flashed his signature grin at her as they walked into the Garrison's main entrance.

"To many to count, Pidgeon."


	2. Chapter 2

The two ex-paladins walking into the entrance hall of the Garrison's main building, teasing and bantering all the way up to the reception. 

Pidge took out her personel pass and let the receptionist scan it, letting the system know she had clocked in.  
Lance went to do the same as he struck up conversation with the lady behind the counter, flirting like always.  
His looks had only improved since from when he was younger, his jaw was chiseled and his blue eyes had only gotten more intense in color, not that Pidge would notice that.  
She doesn't look at him like that anymore, not after he had dated and had broken up with Allura, it would only make things awkward between them and besides, Pidge thought, it had only been a crush she had, had for him when she was sixteen.

So she waited for him to be done, Lance had his pass scanned and winked at the lady before turning back to her. 

"Still flirting with everything walking on two legs I see."

Lance feigned being hurt by her words. 

"Oh trust me, dear Pidge, there is enough for you too."

He said as he put his arm over her shoulder, bending his back a bit so that he was leaning on her.  
Pidge didn't step out of his arms but walked with him like that past the reception and towards the back of the building. 

"You're too much for me, Lance."

"Awww, you know how to handle me Pidgeon."

She seems to think about his words as they stopped at the end of the building, where two hallways went into opposite directions.

"I guess I do, you're still hanging around me so..."

"You know you're fun to hang with right?"

Pidge turned to her head to him, his arm still around her shoulder. 

"Your just saying that because I can sneak peanut butter cookies into the teacher's lounge for you."

She finally stepped out of his embrace walking towards one of the hallways leading to the scientific and research facilities of the Garrison. 

"Speaking of cookies could you maybe bring some to my classroom at around one?"

Lance asked a hand sheepishly rubbing his neck as he looked at her, he seemed nervous.  
He had asked Pidge enough times to bring him some to the teacher's lounge and sometimes he would even come over to get them at her office, Lance had never asked her to deliver some to his one of his classes.  
Pidge didn't mind really, she likes hanging out with him and it gave her a good excuse to also talk to Shiro and Veronica. And she knew Lance enjoyed her company too, they knew each other long enough to know when the other was bored or uncomfortable. He probably didn't have a class around that time she assumed so why not? "Sure Lance, just text me the room number." "I knew you wouldn't let me starve." He sounded excited as he walked backwards into the other hallway leading to the teaching facilities and student dorms. "If I did, which idiot would I have to hang out with then?" "You love me Pidge, just admit." She turned her back to him, waving him goodbye without looking back as she walked in the opposite direction. "Have a nice day, Mcclain." It was just a crush.


	3. Chapter 3

Pidge had dropped her bag off at her messy office, she hardly ever worked in it, she preferred the large workspaces where she could hear all the other mechanical and electro engineers working on their own projects.  
She worked better when she had sounds to tune out, she would be focused on her work completely.  
It also had the advantage of directly testing her work and getting instant feedback from the other people there. 

Sometimes she would go over to her mother's department if she wanted peace and quiet, if she wanted some distraction she usually talked with Kinkade about yeast as he now worked with Colleen at the botanical department.

Today she walked into her mother's office to find the two of them looking a new breed of some kind of medicinal herb.

"Hey mom."

Her mother looked up from her work. 

"Katie, just in time to pick op your order."

Colleen said as her daughter gave her a kiss on the cheek and reached for the Tupperware container on the corner of her desk. 

"Are you going to see Lance by any chance?"

"Yeah, he said to come over at around one."

"Oh, would je tell Shiro I can babysit next friday, I don't need to be at the meeting with the other departments so I'm free all night."

"Wait you're not going?"

"I've left all the important stuff to Ryan this time."

Colleen said as she gestured to her young coworker.  
Pidge looked at Kinkade questioningly. 

"You sure you're up for it?" 

The tall man seemed to think before speaking. 

"I think I can handle it, it's merely a formality right? That's nothing compared to being an MFE pilot."

"Than you haven't been in a room full of scientists discussing their yearly budget."

The three of them laughed, Ryan seemed more nervous than before. 

"Maybe you got that right, still noting a paladin of Voltron can't handle right?"

He asked Pidge jokingly, the young woman's face seemed to freeze for a second only to reply with a weak 'yeah'.  
Not wanting things to be awkward Pidge quickly turned to Colleen thanking her for the cookies and turned to leave, already disappearing before Colleen could tell her to have fun with Lance.

Ryan turned to her. 

"Did I say something wrong?" 

Colleen looked at him with a tired smile on her face.  
Of course she had noticed her daughter was acting differently ever since she moved out but Colleen knew that asking her about it would get her nothing but an 'I'm fine mom'. No, Katie is just in her own way. She is struggling with herself and Colleen could only hope that her daughter wouldn't go through it alone. 

"No you did nothing wrong, Katie is just going through some things."

\--------------

Pidge hurriedly walked out of the botanical department, Kinkade's comment had stirred something in her. She rarely got called a paladin anymore, only when she was with the others and on official occasions, outside of that she was most commonly known as Dr. Holt. Most of her friends called her Pidge and only a handful of people actually called her Katie.

It just felt weird to be called a paladin after all this time of not being a paladin had past.  
But Pidge had to admit, she had loved being a paladin, to fly to outer space and galaxies far, far away.

It was a shame she hadn't had the chance to properly explore them at the time, now she was back on Earth and she felt trapped. 

How many more worlds were out there? An infinite amount for sure, those could all have their own kind of communication, their own kind of technology. There was so much Pidge could learn from that, from them, that it sometimes drove her mad that she couldn't just up and leave and travel the known universe.

She could in theory but she had her job, her family was here, her friends, Lance-  
Scratch that last thought.  
The point was that Pidge couldn't just leave all that, not when she had fought so hard to get it all back, not after all that was sacrificed to get this. 

So Pidge put those desires in some deep corner of her own mind and pushed through. She had cookies to deliver and a message to tell Shiro, Pidge just needed to focus on that, that was what she needed to do.

\--------------

Lance was teaching in a real classroom today, he usually taught the cadets at the simulator but today was a lesson filled with learning the different types of fighter class aircrafts and the different signals and communication used by the Galactic coalition.

Lance found this stuff mildly interesting, sure you needed to know these things when flying through outer space when going out on a mission.  
But Lance missed the times when he was young and could fly freely to the edges of the known universe.

Well, as freely as you could during times of war. 

The fight against Zarkon, Lotor and Honerva had left all of them with their own scars and nightmares to face.  
It wasn't like Lance could complain, many people were hurt by them.  
Worlds had been destroyed and alien civilizations had been wiped out, they were lucky Earth hadn't met the same fate.

After making sure Earth was safe, which took about a year, everyone of the Voltron paladins went their separate ways. Allura needed to guide her people and left for new Altea with Coran and Romelle, When she left Lance and her talked a lot about their futures and what they wanted and eventually they both decided to break up.  
The both of them still talked every week, even after Allura admitted to him that she was beginning to fall for Keith.  
Keith had gone with the Blade of Mamora to reform the Galra empire into the Galra Republic and often visited Altea when he had nothing to do on Daibazaal.  
Apparently him and Allura had spent so much time together that Allura had developed a crush on him. 

Lance laughed at her, of all people it had to be Keith.  
Even though Lance and him had become great friends, Lance couldn't help but think back to the time when he thought they were rivals, it seemed childish now but it had made Lance realize what he really wanted to do with his life.  
And now he was doing it, he had officially become a fighter pilot and was now doing something he genuinely liked, teaching.  
Everything seemed to have fallen in place for him, he was back with his family, he was back home, he was doing what he loved. Someday he would find someone to fall in love with and start a family with and he would show them the farthest reaches of the universe.  
The universe he still longed to explore, that was the only thing still nagging at Lance, that desire for adventure.  
Of course he wanted to be with his family, but now that the war was over this call to adventure was ringing in his head.

He talked with Shiro about it, he took over the Garrison after Iverson retired, so they usually talked a lot about their cadets and the other instructors.  
When they did go into more in depth conversation it was usually about the Galra and if there were going to be any problems surrounding them.  
Some times they would talk about Voltron and the Lions and speculate about them coming back one day. 

Lance had only really admitted to Shiro that he missed both Blue and Red, even though Blue was really the one he wanted to see again, Red was Keith's Lion.  
Shiro had smiled at him and told him he sometimes felt the same about Black but that it probably wasn't the same way Lance missed Blue. 

Shiro had seen his time as the black paladin as a role he needed to play, an assignment he needed to make.  
Yes, sometimes he did miss the vastness of space, but he was now married and they were in the process of adopting a child and Shiro knew that this was all that he needed.  
His time had past and all he could do was give his knowledge and experience to a new generation. 

"But your time hasn't ended yet, Lance."

Shiro had told him, Lance had been surprised to hear those words. 

"But I'm not a paladin anymore, I'm nothing special, it's just me now."

"Lance, when has that ever stopped you from doing what is right and doing what you believe in."

"Yeah but-"

"Lance, you always put others first and you want others to be okay with the decisions you make but this time do something for yourself for once, choose something for yourself, it's your life."

"You really are our space dad, huh?"

They had laughed after that, Shiro's words kept on echoing through Lance's head. He was right of course, it was Shiro and Shiro was rarely wrong about these things.

It had been the only time Lance had talked with someone about leaving Earth. Hunk usually didn't have time to talk, he was busy going on diplomatic missions between Earth, Altea, and Daibazaal, Shay accompanied him most of the times and Lance didn't want to disturb the loving couple.

Both Keith and Allura were busy running their own kingdoms and Coran and Romelle were busy helping them. 

Than there was Pidge, or Katie or Dr. Holt, she went by lots of names these days but Lance still settled for Pidge.  
They still had game nights but only one time a month, they were both busy so Lance savored the times he could spent with her at work.  
They joked around a lot and found comfort in each other, Lance had thought a lot about talking to her about leaving.  
Every time he wanted to however Lance somehow felt guilty, as if he would start talking to it about her he would ask Pidge to come with him.  
And that was something Lance couldn't ask of her, Pidge had fought harder than any of them to get her family back and he wasn't going to ask her to leave that behind for......

For what exactly? For him?

No that wasn't right, they weren't like that.

Lance wanted to ask her to come with him because when they did talk about their time as paladins he could see the way she would look out a window or up at the sky. She felt the same as him, but Lance wasn't sure, he needed to be sure.

So that's why she was standing in front of his classroom door, which was locked because Lance was currently teaching his class.

Well, right now he wasn't, not really. His classes usually asked about his time as a paladin of Voltron and about the war for Earth, it was near the end of his lesson so the class had lost all their collective focus on the lesson in favor of hearing another story from him. 

Lance had anticipated this and having Pidge come to his class would only feed their curiosity more. They would certainly ask her tons of questions and Pidge would answer them and then Lance would know if she felt the same as him.

So Lance told his class to settle down as they noticed the green paladin standing at the door.  
He went to open it with his personnel pass and greeted her with a grin on his face as he leaned against the doorway with one arm. 

"Hello, there Dr. Pidge."

Pidge smiled back at him but Lance knew she was irritated by the way her eyes narrowed as she looked at him.

"You didn't tell me you still had class, McClain."

"If I told you than you wouldn't have come and my dear cadets really want to meet you."

Her eyes seemed to relax only a tinge at his words. 

"You're right I wouldn't have come, here take the cookies."

She pushed the Tupperware container into his hands and was about to turn around and walk away when she felt Lance's hand around her wrist.  
Pidge whipped her head to him, suppressing the urge to bend his arm behind his back. His eyes seemed to flash with desperation but Pidge blinked and it was gone. 

"It'll only be a few minutes until this class is over."

"I don't know Lance, I need to be on time for a meeting with Matt and dad and-"

"Pidge they really wanna meet you, come on, do it for me?!!"

He tried pulling puppy eyes on her and maybe it was the way he had asked her to do it for him or the look in his eye or his students looking over his shoulder at her, pulling the same face as their teacher.  
Pidge berated herself for giving in to him, and with a sigh she agreed.

He let go of her wrist, Pidge felt her skin burn from his touch. She followed Lance inside as he told his students go back to their seats.  
Pidge left him to calm down his class and went over to his desk, leaning against it and looking at the container with her mom's peanut butter cookies. 

"Did you really punch an all-knowing space god?!"

Pidge looked up her eyes wide at one of Lance's students, a young man, he reminded her of Matt at that age. She looked at Lance with a raised eyebrow.

"How much did you tell them?"

Lance avoided eye contact as he went to lean next to her against the desk.  
Again Pidge sighed and turned to face the class, looking at the young man that had asked her the initial question.

"I didn't really puch him, I more, like, tackled Bob and he wasn't a 'space god' but an all-powerful, all-knowing inter-dimensional being."

The class roared at her with their questions after that, and Pidge smiled genuinely at the young pilots in training and Lance swore his heart stood still when he saw that. 

" Where do you think the Lions went? "

It was a tall girl with purple dyed hair who had asked Pidge that question.  
Lance was fast to answer the sensitive question first.

"Rogers let's not-" 

"I think they went back to Oriande, it's like this magical place full of magic, it's apparently the birthplace of Altean alchemy and it supposedly has this white lion guardian it. Princ- Queen Allura went there once and from what she told us and what her father told her, Voltron was made with Altean alchemy so it isn't to far off to say they are there right now."

Lance and his students had fallen silent as she had ranted at them. Pidge became painfully aware of their staring eyes and felt like she had said something wrong. 

"Do you think they'll come back?"

Pidge didn't know who of the students had said it until she noticed them all staring at Lance, he had asked her the question that had plagued her every night, even now.  
Pidge looked at him and saw the same thing she felt when she would lay awake at night pondering if her Green would come back to her one day.

"I....woult want them to come back."

She turned back to the students, her eyes were downcast. 

"But I know that they won't, not until they're needed again."

Lance knew Pidge's heartbreak and knew that she felt the same about going back into space as him. It only pained him to see her so sad, his approach to finding out how she felt may have been sneaky and kind of dirty. He would apologize to her later, maybe he would invite her for dinner with his family, would she like that? 

Then the bell rang and Lance's students began packing their stuff, Pidge forced herself to shake off her sad feelings and conjured a smile on her face.

Some students passed her, asking her about her work or about the planets she has been on.  
Some even asked if she could come by again or teach them instead of Lance, Pidge just chuckled at them.

"If you want me to teach you, you can always switch over to the research department."

The students politely declined and told her they rather keep it to flying in their fighter jets instead of making them.

Once all the students were gone it was just Pidge, Lance and their peanut butter cookies, they leaned against Lance's desk for a few silent moments.  
Pidge's phone vibrated in the pocket of her lab coat, taking it out she saw her meeting with Matt and her dad was starting soon, she pushed herself off the desk fully turning to Lance.

"I need to get back, the meeting is about to start soon."

Lance also stood up straight, picking up the container and looking down at it, a plan forming in his head. 

"You want me to walk you back?"


	4. Chapter 4

Pidge didn't really know why but she had said yes to Lance when he asked if she wanted to have dinner with him and his family wensday night. 

They had walked back to the Garrison's research department, eating her mother's homemade cookies on the way there, they didn't talk about what his cadets had asked her about.

Lance seemed to not want to look at her after that, Pidge felt the same. They never really talked about Voltron with each other, sure they did talk about their misadventure at the space mall and about how they missed their cow child, Kaltenecker, who was on new Altea.  
They one time talked about how Bob had tested them and they had lived to tell the tale, it had meant they were destined for greatness, they never talked about it after that.

It had been to painful and uncertain to talk about Voltron even after nine years.  
The blue and green paladin didn't feel like they were in the right place, the blue paladin needs to be adventurous and bold and the green paladin needs to be daring and inquisitive, right now both of them didn't feel like they were.

It felt like they were just floating around, doing their work but at the same time not really doing anything at all. Nobody expected them, as paladins, to feel as much excitement as they had at the time of Voltron.

But Pidge and Lance couldn't shake off the feeling that the rush of adventure and not knowing what comes next brought them. It felt as if they could only be satisfied with that feeling of greatness and not with being safe on Earth doing the same thing everyday.  
They felt restless. 

That was probably why Pidge had said yes to Lance.  
His family had always welcomed her lovingly and she had become great friends with Veronica over the years.  
They would serve as a welcome distraction to get her mind off of things.

"All right, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Pidge checked her phone to see which conference room had been reserved for her dad, Matt and her.  
She seemed to think of something as she sighed heavily. 

"I'm going to train after I'm done with work, I also need to drop by Shiro, so maybe I'll see you tonight?"

Lance was curious what she had to say to Shiro but buried the feeling, he already had asked her to eat with his family, don't push your luck McClain. 

"If I'm done with my paperwork on time but I'll text you."

Pidge didn't like to see Lance sad or insecure about stuff and right now he looked a lot like a lost puppy.  
So in an attempt to cheer him up she called him by his favorite nickname. 

"Okay, see you later than sharpshooter."

He smiled at the name she called him, he looked at her, maybe not directly in the eye but he at least looked at her face.  
It made Pidge smile when she saw her words had lifted his mood a little, and turned to look him in the face too. 

"See ya later, Professor Gunderson."

Lance said as he turned to walk away, it seemed his playful teasing had returned to him.

"I'm still not a professor, Lance."

Pidge called after him as she was called by her dad, probably because she was late to their meeting.

"You would make a wonderful teacher, Pidgeon."

Lance said as he turned and walked backwards towards the Garrison's teaching facilities.  
His words making her blush, not wanting to show that she actually liked his comment Pidge switched to being offended instead. 

"That's not the point-"

"Just take the compliment, Holt."

Lance said with one last wave to her as he disappeared from view, a lasting grin on his face. 

After he left, Pidge needed a moment to collect herself, ignoring the buzzing phone in her hand.  
Why did he do that to her, it wasn't like he meant to make her childhood crush on him grow into something more.

No, it was just Pidge being stuck in the past.  
When Lance had asked Allura on their first date Pidge didn't know how to react.  
It had hurt? No, yes, maybe? That wasn't it exactly, she had felt disappointed, in herself mostly.  
She should have confessed to him earlier, maybe she would have had a chance than, but maybe it was better this way, now she knew that Lance liked Allura and that Allura felt the same for him. 

Pidge had felt a strange sort of bitterness when Allura had asked her help to pick out an outfit for their date.  
That feeling had only grown when she had traded her game for Allura's clothes, Pidge had wanted to play it together with Lance.  
Pidge had looked at the game in her hand, again that bitterness reared it's ugly head and suddenly Pidge just wanted to destroy it, throw it away and never see it again but than the feeling went away and Pidge just felt shameful and a bit empty.  
She shouldn't deny Allura and Lance a chance to date just because she was jealous for being rejected by him, without actually being rejected by Lance. 

So she gave the shopkeep the game and Allura had thanked her and hugged her and maybe that made it a little better for Pidge in the moment. Looking back, Pidge knew that feeling bitter and sad about it all wasn't going to help and she tried moving on from it, she tried being normal around them for the short time they all were together after the war ended.

And than they all split up and Pidge felt like she could move freely again. Pidge went to work at the Garrison and earn her PhD together with Shiro who took Iverson's position. Keith had left even before that, taking the Blade of Mamora with him to rebuild the Galra race, Allura had soon followed his lead and went back to new Altea. Than Hunk left to reunite with Shay and make his debute as an ambassador for Earth, he made friends wherever he went so Pidge wasn't surprised he decided to become an ambassador. 

Not long after Hunk left, Lance and Allura broke up, they had talked about Lance moving to Altea, apparently they had disagreed on the matter and not long after ended their relationship.  
After that Lance had applied to the Garrison, to become a teacher for future fighter pilots.  
He had reached out to Pidge, asking if there was such an occupation that needed to be filled, saying that he didn't want to bother Shiro by asking him. 

Pidge didn't know why Lance had asked her instead of Shiro, or Veronica for that matter. They both worked as teachers and instructors while she was part of the research branch, it made more sense to Pidge that Lance would ask one of them.  
She never asked Lance why he went to her instead of them, he was probably heartbroken and not thinking rationally, still at the time it didn't make sense to her. 

Pidge was pulled from her thoughts by her phone going off again, she looked at the lit up screen, remembering the meeting with her father and Matt. 

It was Matt. 

Pidge picked up quickly saying she was on her way and hanging up before Matt could even ask her where she was.  
She put the phone back in her lab coat pocket, trying to set Lance out of her mind.  
But his cerulean blue eyes still lingered in the back of her mind, like they always did. 

Making her way towards the IT department where most of the conference rooms were placed and arriving at one of those, already seeing Sam and Matt inside through the glass door.  
Taking out her personel pass and opening the door with it, Pidge welcomed by her brother.

"What made you come late Pigeon?"

Pidge easy waved him away with a small grin. 

"I went over to Shiro to tell him that mom and dad can babysit on Friday, we talked longer than I thought, sorry."

Matt looked critically at his younger sister, but seemed to be satisfied with her answer for now as he turned to Sam. 

"Who will be going on your place? Please don't tell me you're going to sent Dr. Petrovna, she really doesn't know-" 

Sam cut off his son, as he adjusted his glasses.

"I thought maybe you wanted to represent the electro engineering department in my stead?"

Matt froze for a moment before a giant grin plastered itself on his face. Pidge would get the same one when she was exited or having fun.  
Sam laughed as his son raved about finally getting the opportunity to get more money for his and Sam's department.

"Maybe N7 can come too and we can finally convince the board to start funding the AI project."

Matt was already ranting about his approach with the board, Pidge looked at him surprised, she didn't know her sister-in-law was back on earth already. 

"Is N7 back? Did they get their systems checked properly this time?"

"They'll be back on Thursday so I'll let them know before they land."

Sam turned to his son. 

"Let us know when she arrives, than we can all welcome them home.

Matt assured his father that he would. Pidge looked at Sam, his hair was almost completely white, he was getting old and both him and Colleen were preparing to retire soon.  
The war had taken a toll on them, they both loved their jobs but their bodies and health weren't what they used to be. Long days of work were getting harder and managing their respective departments had become a taller task over the years.  
Colleen and Sam both could rest easy, knowing that they would leave their work in the right hands.

Pidge knew that that her father had gathered them to tell something important, he was waiting for the right time but Pidge had enough of waiting. 

"So, dad, what did you want to talk about? Why did you call us here?"

Pidge leaned back in her chair, one of many at the large table. Her father sat at the head, Matt sat across from her on her father's right.  
Sam turned to his daughter, Colleen had talked to him about Katie.  
He too had noticed how she had changed when she had moved out to her apartment.  
He knew Katie held great love for her work and loved doing it but he could see she longed for something more. 

His daughter was an open book to those who knew her, he noticed how little she spoke of her work anymore and that if she did she didn't seem to have the same passion for it as before.  
It pained Sam to see Katie lose the passion she had for her job, he had gone through the same kinds of feelings himself, once or twice, but he always seemed to rediscover his love for technology and his drive to innovate, researcher and create.  
Katie reminded Sam of himself alot and he knew that the accusing tone in her voice was a trait she had inherited from him.

Sam smiled at his youngest child as he took out a file from his bag, opening it and giving the first page to her.

"I recently got this file from the leading board of directors, it seems they finally have another mission for us."

Pidge looked over the document, her eyes widening with every word.  
Sam continued. 

"The coalition has decided to explore more of the unknown universe, to see if there could be worlds that use more advanced technology or communication than what we have right now. They want to send parties from different planets out there, Earth will also take part in this."

Pidge felt shell shocked for a moment, this was what she had been waiting for, this was what she had deamt of.  
But something within her told her it was out of reach, she couldn't go on this mission. 

But, god did she want to.

It was perfect, more than perfect even. 

Not only would she travel to the furthest reaches of the universe, she would also travel to almost every known planet to collect data about everything there is to know about a planet.  
Eventually all that information will be put into a database to help with finding resources and create a intergalactic infrastructure.   
It could mean discovering more unknown places and putting them on the map. 

Pidge could feel that drive inside her, that want to be out there and go find those places.

"This is...."

Pidge looked at her father and Matt, she didn't know what to say. She felt as if going would mean leaving them behind, betraying them somehow.   
She looked at Sam, searching for an answer or a sign, had he meant to show her this? To let her know it was okay to go? 

Pidge found the answer in his look, he had taken off his glasses and looked at her with tired eyes. He may not be able to see that clearly without them but to Pidge it felt like he was looking straight into her soul and saw her need to be out there. 

"It's perfect."

Matt had silently observed his sister and father.   
He, like his parents, had noticed the change within Pidge and knew it was similar to the desire he had to go to Kerberos, to find alien life.   
He had been young and stupid but Matt knew that his sister was not like him.   
She was now many years older than when he first left Earth, and a few years younger that him when she did.

If it was Pidge out there than she would reach the ends of the universe before anyone else.

Sam spoke before Matt could give his sister words of encouragement. 

"The mission will be made publicly on Friday at the meeting, I will let them know you're interested but you'll need to get yourself a good team if you want to lead the party from Earth."

Leafing the party? Her? Pidge didn't really see herself as a leader but if she wanted to do this, she would need to become. She already made a mental list of people who could potentially be a good addition to this mission.  
Matt came to mind immediately and Pidge looked up from the document to him.   
Her brother noticed the look in her eyes and stopped her before she could say anything. 

"No, I'm not going."

"But-"

"This is your thing, Pidge. I have had my time in space, I don't need to be out there for God knows how long.  
And besides if dad can put in a good at word at the board for you, he can certainly do it for my AI project to, right dad?"

He said as he winked jokingly at Sam. 

" I can only do so much for you my son."

Sam told him as he turned back to his daughter. 

"But Matt is right. This is your mission, you can do this."

Pidge looked at her father and brother once again.   
She loved them so much.   
They accepted that she had to go and they let her, after everything, they still understood that she had to leave them.   
A giant smile plastered itself across her face as the wheels in her head began turning and a fire in her was lit. 

She was going back to space.


	5. Chapter 5

Why did Lance feel so relieved when she said yes?

Like, this wasn't the kind of relief he'd felt before. 

"Hey, Lance" 

Sure Lance was relieved because Pidge wasn't mad at him for dragging her into his class. 

"Lance!" 

If she were than she wouldn't have said yes to dinner with him. 

"Lance~" 

With him AND his family, Lance needed to remind himself.  
Why did he think that?

"Lance~~"

Lance turned to see his sister, Veronica standing in the doorway of the teacher's lounge. When did he walk all the way back here?

"Hey, Ronica."

Lance walked over to his eldest sister as she inspected his face with her eyes. 

"You okay there, sport? You didn't hear me call out to you first time?"

His hand sheepishly went to the back of his neck. 

"I guess not..."

"What you finally decided to use your brain and started thinking too hard?"

"And they say I'm the immature one of the family."

Veronica laughed and so did Lance as he followed her into the lounge.  
The McClain siblings went to the small kitchen and made themselves some coffee before sitting down at one of the empty tables in the room, all the while chatting about work and their students.  
There were no other instructors besides them in the room, it was Monday so everyone was hard at work to start the week right.

"No, but seriously what's on your mind Lance?"

His sister looked at him with worried eyes, if Lance would say that he was fine she wouldn't believe it.  
This always happened, he would bottle his emotions and frustration up and at one point they would just burst out.  
Sure, Lance did know he could talk to his family and friends, that he could cope better with his feelings.  
But that didn't mean it wasn't hard to do so.  
He had talked with Shiro but that was different, this was his sister and he couldn't just say to her that he wanted to leave Earth.  
Not after everything. 

But he had to say something, so he gathered his courage and he forced himself to speak. 

"I think, I want to quit my job."

Lance was looking down at his mug, his hands were wrapped around it.  
Veronica looked at her brother with shock, he seemed to enjoy teaching his classes from what Veronica had seen. And even if he didn't, Lance wasn't the type to give up easily, he would have figured out how to make it fun.  
So Veronica reached out, laying her a hand over his, which was wrapped around the warm cup.

"Is that all that's going on with you? You can tell me Lance."

He looked up at her, his blue eyes were anxious and maybe even a bit ashamed.  
Why would he need to feel like this? What was wrong?

"I don't want to stay here."

Veronica knew that he meant Earth when he almost whispered it to her.  
Axca had said the same thing when she left, and to be honest Veronica had also heard the call of the universe once or twice.  
But it that was always a dream for another day.  
A smile came to her face at those thoughts, she understood part of how her little brother felt.  
And she knew it would pain their family if he left and that that was the reason why he kept walking around with this feel. 

"You know you don't have to stay, right?" 

"I know but I'm happy here, I have you and mom and dad and the others, my friends- well, most of them.  
I just don't want to ruin this."

"Lance, you won't loose us the minute you're into space."

"But what if I do! I can't just go out there and expect you guys to wait for me, I can't go if that happens."

"But this makes you feel miserable. We both know that things change and that we can't wait with moving on with our lives. Yes, you will have to miss us and we'll miss you and we all will have to move on but are you so scared of that, that you can't love being out there!" 

Lance was dumbstruck at his sister's words, he knew all that she said was true but her putting his feelings into words seemed to only make them more real. 

When Lance stayed silent, Veronica continued. 

"Lance we all love you and want you to be happy, so please let yourself be happy and satisfied for once."

Lance looked at his sister, she was always smart and bossy so it didn't surprise him much that it almost sounded like she ordered him to feel okay.  
Still, he found his thoughts were less scrambled as he went to hug Veronica. 

" Thanks, Ronica. I think I needed that."

She pulled back from their hug and ruffled her brothers hair. 

"No sweat, kid. If you want me to talk to mom-"

"No, I need to do that myself. Even if I don't know how."

"You'll figure it out."

\-------------------

The rest of the day had past rather uneventful for Pidge, after her meeting with Matt and their dad she had gone back to her office to collect every piece of research she had conducted and every document discribing her numerous successful projects. 

She needed to show the board that she was capable to lead a research team.  
Pidge also worked on compiling a list of colleagues who would be suited to go into space.  
When all that was done the excitement had become too much for her body.  
She threw all her documents, including the mission document she got from her dad, into her bag and made her way to the training facilities the Garrison offered to all their personnel and students. 

Not alot of people were there this late into the afternoon, Pidge was surprised to see Shiro train a small platoon of cadets on the run and track field just outside the gym. 

The sun was low and the air warm with it's golden light, they were taking a break so it was a perfect opportunity for Pidge to come and say hi to him.  
She walked through the side door of the building and, while pointing to his exhausted students, said. 

"Did you break their spirits already?" 

Shiro turned around, smiling as he recognized her voice. 

"Don't worry, they're tougher than they look."

The pained groans of the young cadets said otherwise, Shiro told them to take another five minutes before they would continue. 

"You came to work out? Was sitting inside your office too much for you?" 

He teased as he helped her with warm up stretches. 

"You could say that." 

Shiro could hear the concealed excitement in her voice, raising an eyebrow. 

"What's gotten you so worked up?" 

Pidge grinned at him as she stretched out her leg.

"Don't tell anyone, but the research department has received a new mission from the board of directors."

Shiro was surprised, sure he knew about the mission, he was assigned to gather a pilots and maintenance crew to for the mission. He didn't expect Sam to let Pidge know about the mission so soon, but than again this was right up her alley.

"That's great Pidge! Are you going as a representative for your department?"

"I'm aiming for leading researcher, I'll need to present my case to the board on Friday."

"You'll get it for sure. Do Matt and Colleen know that you're going?" 

"Matt already knows, dad told us this afternoon. I haven't told mom yet but she probably already knows."

Shiro put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

"I'm sure she'll be proud of you, I know I am."

Pidge faked wiping away a tear in her eye and held one hand to her heart. 

"Awww, space dad, you're making me cry."

Shiro snickered. 

"Funny, Lance called me that too."

She froze at the sound of his name.   
Shiro noticed, he noticed a lot of things, including the mutual attraction between his former teammates.

"You haven't told him, have you?"

Pidge crossed her arms. 

"Why would I, I haven't been selected yet so there is nothing to tell Lance."

Shiro huffed softly. 

"You and I both know that your going on that mission no matter what, you have more experience on alien planets than every scientist there. You'll eventually have to tell him you're going to leave."

"I know, I will."

"I know you will, Pidge."

They went silent for a moment, Pidge contemplated Shiro's words. He was right, as always, she needed to tell Lance, she needed to tell all the others too.   
But for now she just needed to release some energy, so she stuffed Lance to the back of her mind and remembered something else instead. 

"By the way, mom told me to tell you that she and dad can babysit on Friday."

His face cleared up a tinge. 

"That's great! Than I can be there when you make your case."

A small smile came on Pidge's face. 

"I would really love the support."

He ruffled her hair with his mechanical arm. 

"Sure thing, Pidge."

Shiro turned to walk back to his cadets, looking back at her. 

"You up for a round of training with us?"

Pidge looked up at the sky for a moment, if she wanted to go to space than she needed to get in shape. 

"Sure, let's see what you've taught these kids."


	6. Chapter 6

Lance was mesmerized by the sight before him.  
Her movements were quick and fierce, her hits precise and her smile triumphant. 

It had been some time since he had seen her like this, skin gleaming with sweat, hair tousled, eyes shining like amber.  
They used to work out together a lot when they were young and Pidge had them she was a girl.  
At the time Lance had been shocked, everyone had seemed to notice exept for him. Looking at her decking another hologram in the face made him laugh at his younger self, the Pidge he saw now could not be mistaken for a boy anymore. 

The blue paladin's face heated up as he how defined her muscles still were and how the curve of her hips was accentuated by the tight fitting-

The young man cut off his wandering eyes and mind, this was Pidge he was looking at and thinking of!!  
This was the Pidge he had game nights with, the Pidge that could be bribed with peanut butter cookies, the Pidge who is his best friend. 

Lance looked at her again. 

But this was also Pidge, just like Dr. Holt was Pidge but with some more business and more science, just like the green paladin of Voltron was Pidge.

This was also Pidge, just a girl that he could see walking by some day and stop to talk with because she looks cute. This was the Pidge he had come to know after his break up with Allura, the one that helped heal his broken heart. This was the Pidge that had helped him get his job as an instructor, the Pidge that would have dinner with her family, the Pidge that knew his family, the Pidge that knew him. 

The Pidge that saw him as her friend.

Just a friend who had been stupid to think he at one time had a shot with her, when in reality she didn't want a relationship. She had told him, she didn't see herself settled down, with a nice job, a partner or kids. 

And she was right to think so, he was doubting his views for the future. Maybe he didn't want what he thought he wanted, maybe what he thought he wanted when he had been with Allura had been because of Allura. Because she eventually needed an heir, because her home would always be Altea, because he would always me a prince when he'd marry her. 

Maybe that was why it didn't work. 

Maybe it was because he had changed his mind, maybe he had grown, maybe he had acted rash.  
Still, it doesn't change anything that has happened. 

It doesn't change the fact that he is standing here looking at her and thinking about what she wants and if he was wanted by her. 

And that was when her eyes fell on him, drowning Lance in the golden light of her eyes.

She waved at him as Lance forced his legs to move towards her.  
The simulation had ended, all targets had been defeated as Pidge stepped off the training pad. 

Not many people were around, the students had all gone to their dorms and only a few teachers and other staff were doing small workouts to keep in shape. 

"You haven't lost your touch I see."

Lance told her as she jokingly punched him. 

"I try to keep up but I bet you'd do much better."

She smiled at him as she tugged her hair tie loose making her light brown locks frame her reddened face. Lance tried to supress a blush rising to his cheeks and kept his voice from cracking.

"Is that a challenge pipsqueak?"

"Only if you can handle it, sharpshooter."

A grin was on her face as she went back onto the training pad and setting it to the right settings.  
Lance went to stand across from her on the other side of the small field.  
It had been some time since they last trained together, it made Lance remenisence about their endless sparring sessions in the castle of lions.  
Pidge had been a good fighter than too, her Bayard was meant for close combat mostly and her being small and lightweight made her quick on her feet and hard to hit.

Together with Keith they were the most undefeated paladins in hand-to-hand combat, they had both picked it up quick and even Allura had been surprised by how fast they had learned. 

Lance had always rooted for Pidge when she would go against Keith, he had loved it when his stupid mullet face was pressed against the ground. But now Lance feared he might meet the same fate as the simulation counted down to one. 

Immediately Pidge began circling him, trying to stay in his blind spot. Lance had watched her fights with Keith for a long time, he wanted to know how she could defeat him and learned how Pidge moved in the ring.  
It made Lance able to block her first few attacks and make her take a few steps back. 

Now he had the high ground and was rapidly throwing punches at her trying to land a hit on the upper half of her body. He was so focused on that however that he forgot she had legs and was promptly swept off his feet and landed with his back the ground. A robotic voice said the match had been decided and Lance looked up to see Pidge standing there reaching out a hand to him to help him up. 

He took it and was back on his feet again and ready to take her on again. Pidge could swear her heart soared when Lance looked more determined and happy than he had been in, what Pidge guessed was weeks.

It was fun to spar with Lance, Pidge certainly didn't mind feeling his muscled arms around her but she tried not to let her mind wander there to much. 

He was her friend and teammate, he's a colleague and a person she could talk to without actually having to tell him anything.   
Shiro's words echoed through her head and she knew that she did need to tell Lance about her wanting to leave Earth. 

She remembered his class this morning and the question he had asked her, she had answered honestly and truthfully.   
Pidge did want Green to come back but if her lion did return it would mean that Voltron was needed again and new fights would be fought.   
She, well, everyone, wasn't ready to fight another war, they have had enough of those. 

Pidge remembered how tired and beaten they had all been after defeating Honerva, how relieved and happy they were and how broken they had felt.   
Shortly after their triumph the lions had left them, she could still see them all standing there all six paladins of Voltron in the middle of the night, staring at their lions as the took off and disappeared into the distance. 

Most of them had broken down with tears when they were finally out of sight but Pidge hadn't, she knew this was going to happen sooner or later but it didn't hurt any less it only made it easier to bear.   
Shiro had been standing next to her, he didn't cry either but the same hurt on his face with a mix of relief, Pidge could've guessed he was okay with this. He had carried a heavier burden than most of them and now that load was lightened as the black lion dissappeared. They had shared a look of understanding and he had nodded at her as if to say that it was okay for her to cry before he turned to Lance and Allura to comfort them.   
Pidge didn't cry, instead she turned to Hunk and Keith and let them cry on her shoulder. 

Lance must have noticed her distant stare as they had walked out of the Garrison and were making their way through a nearby park.

"You okay there Pidge?" 

She came back to reality, blinking at him a few times before replying weakly.

"Yeah, it's just that......"

Pidge felt like this was the moment to tell him, deep down she wanted him to know and to support her but she feared that he would......   
What did she fear?   
Leaving him behind or disappointing him? Why should she be scared of that?   
Yes, his opinion mattered to her but he wouldn't keep her from doing this......

But she would keep herself from doing this if he didn't want her to go.  
That is what she feared.

Lance sensed the hesitation in her voice, he went to sit on a nearby bench, crossing his legs and patting the bench, asking her if she wanted to sit down.  
Pidge flopped down next to him, racking her brain over what she was going to say to him.  
She couldn't find the words so she rummaged through her bags, finding the document Sam had given her. 

She handed it to Lance, as he scanned through the file she talked with a soft voice, not daring to look at him. 

"It's a new mission. The broad wants to set up this register of information about every planet in the known universe and explore the places outside of it." 

She couldn't read his expression as he was engrossed in reading the paper. 

"I'm aiming to become the leading scientist, I need to make my case on Friday but I already made a list of the people I want to work with."

Lance couldn't believe this, Pidge was going away?!   
But who would he hang out with outside of the other teachers? Who would eat peanut cookies with him if she was gone?   
Something tugged at his heart as he read the document.

"How long will you be away?" 

Pidge was surprised that was the first thing he'd asked her.

"I....i don't know. It could be as long as twenty years or longer even."

When he didn't answer, Pidge went on to elaborate a bit more.

"I all depends on our resources and money, but I won't be back on Earth for a long while."

She would be gone that long?!!   
Why.....  
Why did it feel like something snapped in him?  
Pidge wanted to do this, he could tell from the way she spoke about it, she wanted this and he wanted this for her. Still, he had to ask, just to be sure. Lance looked up from the document, his blue eyes shine like stars as he gazed at her.

"Are you sure about this?" 

His voice was serious and cold, it was so different from how she knew him that it took Pidge a few seconds before she could find an answer.

"To be completely honest.....no, I'm not."

There was still much to do and a lot that could go wrong. Yes she was more than qualified to go on this mission but going as the lead scientist was something else that being a representative from her department. She wasn't exactly a leader type and not to mention she was younger than most of the team she picked out, bossing them around wouldn't be easy and most would probably undermine her because of her age, it had happened before. Yet she felt that this would work, that doing this wasn't a waste of time and that she was going to be in a better place if she was going to do this.

"But I need to do this. I can't not be out there. Don't see it Lance? There is so much out there we have no idea of, some much to discover, I want to see it all."

God, she looked so happy, why did she look so happy, why did she need to leave him too?

"But what about your parents and Matt?" 

Pidges's bright amber eyes didn't dim at his words.

"They know, dad was the one that told me about the mission. He and Matt both know I want to go, mom knows too probably."

"Are you really going out there on your own?"

Lance couldn't help but worry, she was going to go out there. If not Pidge than who would get the job?   
He just felt worried for her, he knew she wasn't the most sociable person and being in charge of the who research was a big deal, even for her.

"Well I'm not really alone, I'll have a whole team with me-" 

His nervousness for her had grown to a breaking point and he cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

"That's not what I meant! What about your friends here?! What about-" 

'What about me?!' 

He stopped himself just in time before he said those words, his face was hidden in the twilight of day so Pidge couldn't really see his whole face getting two shades darker as Lance realized something he wished he had realized sooner.   
She did notice that his outburst was more than just her leaving, maybe it was Lance that needed to know that he could let her go.

"I- I may be on my own but I'll do fine out there."

Pidge said as she looked up at the sky, a faint smile on her lips, a thought had been swimming through her head for some time now and saying it out loud now seemed a lot easier than before.

"But it would be nice to have someone familiar around."

Before Lance could respond she took the document out of his hands, put it back in her bag and stood up from the bench. She turned to him holding out her hand.

"So what do you say, sharpshooter?" 

Lance didn't understand what she meant until he looked up from her outstretched hand to her face shining with the light of a streetlight that just went on.   
It made her look like a saint with a halo around them.

"You want to travel the universe with me?"


	7. Chapter 7

Pidge was more than happy to go to work the next day.

Lance had said yes. 

It had made her yell with excitement when she had gone back home that night, they had fantasized about what they would see out there and what kind of adventure would await them. 

She had hardly slept but still felt pumped when she awoke the next morning, now she just needed to build her case for the board of directors and they would be on her way. 

It was only when she saw Lance with a frown on his face that her mood soured a bit, he was looking at the coffee machine in the teacher lounge as if it held the meaning of life if only he could figure out which button to push. 

With a fresh batch peanut butter cookies in a plastic bag and her trusty working pad Pidge walked into the room calling out to him. 

"Yo, Lance."

He didn't respond, he just kept staring at the coffee machine. 

"Lance?"

Pidge asked, now slightly more worried.  
She walked over to him, tapping his shoulder and calling his name again. 

"Lance-" 

He jumped, turning around and striking a mocking kung-fu pose with a yelp. 

"Dammit Pidge! Don't sneak up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack."

His voice was aggravated, he huffed as he finally took his coffee cup and went to sit at an empty table.  
Pidge followed him, dropping the cookies infront of him and taking the seat beside him. 

"Are you okay?"

Is all she asked as Lance aggressively sipped from his mug. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He told her almost automatically, Pidge didn't buy it, he had a bad habit of not telling her what was weighing on him.

"Lance."

Saying his name in a serious manner was all it took for him to break, only Pidge seemed to do that to him.  
Lance looked down into his coffee, his hands wrapped around the cup, this situation seemed awfully familiar for some reason. 

"I haven't told my parents that I want to do this, I haven't even talked to Ronica yet."

Pidge had expected that if she were honest, she wasn't going to tell him until Shiro had told her to, it was only a coincidence that her father and brother knew, she hadn't talked to her mom yet but outside of them, Shiro and Lance no one knew she wanted to do this.  
But Lance was different, he loved his family deeply and it said something that he didn't even talk to Veronica about it.  
Lance had had a hard time when they first went out into space in the Blue Lion, he had missed his family and his home more than any of them had. He had feared the worst upon returning to Earth but they had been safe. The same couldn't be said about Hunk's family, the big guy had stayed strong but they knew he just wanted them safe and would do anything to get them away from the Galra.

Pidge felt guilty now that she thought about that. If Lance only wanted to go because of her than she couldn't bare that, not that she thought so highly of herself. Still there was a twinge of guilt that kept tugging at her and kept on saying she couldn't do this to him. 

"Look, Lance you don't have to tell them right now. I don't know if I'll get the position or if I'm even going on the mission to begin with. It's probably the same for you-"

"No, I already checked this morning with Shiro. They wanted experienced fighter pilots on the mission, it just so happened that I was on their list of candidates."

Lance looked at her with guilt and excitement fighting in his eyes. 

"Pidge, I got the job."

She heard the relief in his voice when he said it, he wanted this, not because of her but because he wanted to fly out there and see the universe.  
He just didn't want to leave his family behind, Pidge had been the same. 

"You know, I can help you tell them. I'm going for dinner at your house tomorrow anyway."

Lance was surprised, he hadn't want to bother Pidge with this but just the concern in her voice was so sincere and the way she looked at him with those golden eyes made his walls crumble.  
Without thinking he grabbed her hand gently, giving it a grateful squeeze before looking at her flushed face. 

Why hadn't he noticed her before?

"Thanks, Pidge."

She pried her hand out of his, her smile wavered as she avoided his gaze. 

"No problem Lance."

He froze, had he been to forward? Had she caught on to his feelings? Did she not like him the same way?

His thoughts were waved away by Pidge opening the bag of cookies and offering him some, than Curtis had come into the room and they stroke up a conversation. 

Pidge thought back to that moment after shutting down her workshop and making herself ready to leave for home. 

"Chip, it's time to go to standby bud."

Pidge called out to the robot boy tinkering at one of the workbenches, he perked up at the sound of one of his makers' voices and turned to go to his charging station.

"Goodnight Katie, don't let the bedbugs bite."

Pidge turned to her robotic brother, a smile on her face. 

"You can call me Pidge, Chip. And goodnight to you too."

She said as she turned of the lights and closed the door behind her. 

Pidge had stayed longer than usual today, it was already dark outside and most people had left. Only the research department was open at this time of the evening, it would've made sure that she'd not run in to Lance when she'd leave for the night.

It's not like she could avoid him forever, she was going to have dinner with his family tomorrow night!  
Pidge wasn't even sure about why she was avoiding him in the first place.  
When he had grabbed her hand something within her had recoiled, she had pulled back almost on instinct. She hadn't felt that the night before, when she'd ask him to travel the universe with her, she cringed at her own behavior. It was a wonder Lance had said yes to her. Lance She could still feel his hand on hers when she thought of it, now that she stood there outside of the Garrison in the dark, staring at her own hand, she felt herself blush, finally. This wasn't just a crush anymore, if so than she wouldn't be smiling as bright as she was, she wouldn't be cursing herself for pulling away and thinking about how he froze. She wouldn't be rethinking every interaction she'd had with him in the past nine years and compare them to see if he'd ever acted that way around her before. This wasn't good, he'd never been like that with her, why was he acting different now?! Wait, maybe she was just over thinking this. It was only one instance, pure coincidence, they have known each other for so long it was only natural that platonic physical contact would take places. It was only platonic after all. Yes, that's it was only in her head, if it wasn't than all her heartbreak would have been for nothing. Than going on dates with others, to try and heal herself was for nothing, than discovering that she actually did fully love him at some point was for nothing. Than denying herself telling him that she felt something for him after he and Allura broke up was for nothing. What was the point of all her struggling if it didn't have some meaning behind it. Why had Lance chosen to love her now instead of then? Pidge put that thought away, forced herself to look ahead and walk back to her apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

Lance looked at the ceiling of his dorm room as his roommate, James Griffin, was snoring loudly.

Lance couldn't sleep either way, his mind was wondering to many things at once for him to sleep.

His first thought of the night had gone out to his family and what they would think of him if he were to leave Earth. Sure his sister did support him and assured him that everyone else felt the same but going out to space for certainly more than five years was something different. 

He didn't want to worry his mother and father anymore, he didn't want to miss more of his niece's and nephew's birthdays anymore, he wanted to laugh and reminisce with his siblings more.

He wanted all that and more. 

He wanted to see the stars again, he wanted to feel the hum of a fighter jet around him. He wanted to see nebulas, comets and solar flares again, he wanted to see every color space had to offer him. 

He wanted to see countless worlds and meet everyone there is to meet on those, he wanted to see endless systems of planets and visit everyone of them.

He wanted to see the planets that he knew, he wanted to see them again without any war on them. He wanted to visit the people he knew and talk to them again and see how much they have grown. 

He wanted them to see how much he'd grown, he wanted them to see him next to Pidge and tell him he was in the right place. 

He wanted Pidge next to him and to be next to her, he wanted to see all of it and he wanted to see it with her there. 

With Pidge, Katie Holt, his best friend for years, a genius scientist, a brilliant fighter, tactician and pilot. 

She had always been a good friend to him, through everything, and sure she'd been the only girl he hadn't flirted with from the beginning. Granted, he didn't know she was a girl from the first time they met but even after he knew, he still just treated her the same.

He didn't know why it was different now, why did he feel so...so...

Lance had enough, he slowly stepped out of bed, silently took him pad from his nightstand and made his way out of the room before James woke up. 

It was chilly when he got on the roof of the Garrison, it was late but some lights were still on in the research department, he wondered if Pidge was still working.

Lance went to sit at the edge of the roof, his pad in his hands and took a deap breath before turning the device on and looking through his contactlist.

It took him a few seconds to get the courage to press the name at the top of the alphabetical list, it took a second less for her to respond. 

With hair and dark skin was the first thing Lance saw as Allura picked up, a sleepy look was on her face as she turned on the lights of her bedroom. 

"Lance?" 

She sounded tired and he immediately felt guilty for waking her up, still he pushed it away. 

"Hey Allura."

She could hear his voice was strained and while rubbing her multicolored eyes she got up out of bed and Lance swore he heard grumbling from the other side of her king-sized bed as she made her way to her balcony. 

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Where would he even start?

"No, nothings wrong perse, it's just that...."

Why did he call Allura about this, he really thought that talking to his ex about his crush, their mutual long time friend, was a good idea?!  
But she did talk about Keith to him and he had been okay with it, so it was fine right?

" Lance? Are you okay?"

Okay, it was now or never.

"Ithinkiminlovewithpidge."

It was rushed and mumbly but Allura got the gist of it, quizenack, had she been waiting a long time for this.  
A giant grin graced her face and eyes sparkled as she shrieked with joy. 

"Aaahhh!!! LANCE!! When did you find out?! Did you tell her?! Does she love you too?! When is the wedding?!"

Lance was overwhelmed by her joy, why was she so happy about this? It was kind off freaking him out.  
Than his mind caught up with his mouth, had he really said 'love'?  
He felt his face heat up and was quick to dissuade Allura of anything. 

"Hey, I just found myself, it's not like I can just tell her right now that I love her?"

Again, why love?  
Allura was still grinning. 

"You did with me."

"That was different, you were different."

"I know Lance, but that's a good thing, it means Pidge is something more, something different to you than I was."

"Allura, I-"

"Lance it's okay, we both moved on."

As if on que, a grumbling voice could be heard from the open balcony door, Lance knew he would see a mullet before Keith's face came into view.

"Lance, what are you doing up so late, I need to get up early tomorrow."

He didn't have a shirt on, I repeat, Keith was not wearing a shirt. The lean boy was only wearing a pair of pyjama pants that hung so low Lance could swear he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"KEITH!!!!!" 

Lance shrieked as he covered his eyes and held the pad at arms length, his face was red.

"I thought you told him?"

Keith said to Allura as he draped a thin blanket over Allura as to cover her more than her oversized sleep shirt did.

"I did, he just had a ruff night I guess."

She laughed as Lance was beginning to calm down and peaked through his fingers at them.

"So why did he call you anyway?" 

Keith asked rather grumpy as he went to sit next to Allura on the balcony bench.

"Oh! He admitted he likes Pidge."

"ALLURA!!!!"

Lance shrieked again, Keith didn't seem surprised and just raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Really, took you long enough, sharpshooter."

"Wait.What????!!!!!"

What was this? Why did they both know something he didn't? Had Pidge talked to them???  
Keith looked as if he wanted to slap the back of his head and call him an idiot.

"Dude, you should have gone for her the moment you met her, no offense princess."

Allura shook her head and smiled at Keith, they were already sickeningly sweet and Lance gagged.

"Non taken and I agree, you fit so well together."

Keith chimed in.

"She obviously had a thing for you when we were younger, she may still have." 

Allura whipped her head at the black haired boy next to her, her eyes wide and smile wiped off her face.

"Wait, hold up. O no, was that around the time me and Lance-"

Keith was quick to answer as he put an arm around her.

"Yep."

Allura turned to the screen, her eyebrows knitted in worry, one hand running through her, now, short starlight hair.

"Oh no, Lance I'm so sorry. Because of me-"

Lance was quick to stop her, this wasn't her fault in any way, it was his.

"No, it's fine Allura, I-"

He stayed quite for a moment.

"Did Pidge say anything to you...about me?"

Lance glanced at Keith, he had become closer to Pidge over the years and certainly at their time on Atlas. 

"Look, I never heard her say it outloud and I'm not a snitch but she did drop some hints. When we were younger, you remember when we went to that space mall, where you got Kaltenacker?" 

It was one of Lance's fondest memories of space and of Pidge. 

"Yeah, of course I do."

Keith sighed at his clueless attitude and folded his arms.

"She told me that was the happiest she had been in a long time and it was because of you. That if it wasn't you she'd been sure she wouldn't have laughed that hard that day."

Lance felt his face fall, since then did she like him?  
It was hard to believe someone could like him at that time but had she really liked him, like that? Keith wasn't one to lie and they were all honest to each other, Lance could take his words for truth. 

It just seemed unreal to him but then he remembered a night ago when she held out her hand and asked him to travel the universe with her and how he wanted nothing more than to drop everything and go with her right that minute.  
He'd only thought about the two of them and how he wished he could just go and be with her out there. 

"Lance?" 

Allura and Keith looked at him concerned, he'd been quite for a very long time and his friends feared he might have a stroke.  
He looked at them and saw how close they sat, how they leaned towards each other.  
Lance wanted that, he could see himself sitting there with her, he wanted her with him. 

"That long."

He said to himself as he stared at the screen with a thoughtful look.  
Keith's eyes softened a bit as he kind of pitied his clueless friend. 

"You really didn't know?" 

Keith asked him as Lance shook his head. 

"I just-" 

Lance cut himself off, if Pidge had liked his young self, the one Lance cringed at when he thought back to it, than she had a bigger spot in her heart for him than he thought. 

She would have seen him flirt with every girl he met, she would have seen him at his worst and best.  
She had seen him........Pidge had seen him. 

A switch had been flicked in his head.

He made the decision that night to woo Pidge, with his words, his actions, whatever he could do.  
But he would need help because frankly he didn't know how to express his feelings well, only flirting wouldn't work, Pidge was stupid enough to fall for that, why did he flirt with everything with a heartbeat??!!!  
He'd need help and alot of it, Allura knew how he was with confessions and stuff and Keith.....well, Keith was Keith so him helping wouldn't be that bad. Hunk would probably want in on it too and maybe Shiro could be persuaded to help.

His mind was reeling with scenarios and possibilities when he was called back to reality by Allura calling his name. 

"Lance!" 

"Yeah I'm here." 

He slowly said. 

"Just a bit lost in thought."

"Lance."

Lance focused on his screen at Keith's call. 

"Yeah?" 

"How do you feel about Pidge?" 

It was a simple question and Lance knew what to respond immediately, but he held back and thought for a moment longer about why he knew his answer so instantaneously. 

"I like her, but it's more than that- she has always been a good friend but it's different now. I don't know, it's just, she is different now."

Keith and Allura gave each other a look. 

"Than why not give it a try?" 

Allura asked him with a soft smile on his face. 

Lance looked at his former girlfriend and thanked whoever controlled the universe for Allura still being such a close friend after their break up.

"I will but first, I need to tell you guys about this mission."


	9. Chapter 9

Pidge looked at the screen of her phone again, noting the time and putting it back in the pocket of her black jeans and tugged at the collar of her sleeveless dark green turtleneck.  
Lance was already running late but Pidge huffed amused at his tardiness.

At least that never changed. 

Pidge was nervous to say the least, she had been to his house before, she had dinner with his family before but now it was different with the prospect of the mission hanging above their head.  
She had finally talked with her mom about it and as Pidge had guessed, Colleen knew about it from Sam.  
That didn't mean she didn't try to be surprised but Pidge saw through that, they were all lousy lairs.....well maybe Pidge wasn't, she had kept being a girl from the others for sometime.  
It had felt good to finally discuss this with her mother, of course Colleen would struggle with letting her child go and even if she might not completely like and agree with her decision, she still let Pidge do this.  
It would make her daughter happier so Colleen in turn would be happy seeing her like that.  
They had hugged at the end of their conversation and Colleen had told her she better not dissappear on her and make sure to come back to earth once in a while, Pidge had promised she would.

She had said goodbye to her mother after that, leaving her office and making her way home. Normally Pidge wouldn't have bothered her mother at work but it was the perfect opportunity so Pidge took it.

It had been good to confirm that her mother approved of Pidge going on this mission. It gave Pidge rest to know she could leave without anyone holding her back.

Which brought her thoughts back to Lance. 

Clutching the bouquet filled with purple Carnations in one hand Pidge looked back at the Garrison's main entrance. People were still walking around, working and talking as it was around five in the afternoon and usual working hours wouldn't end until seven.

Lance should be finished with his last class and on his way but Pidge could see him being held up by a colleague or student. 

She smiled at the thought, it was so like Lance to be like that. Friendly, social, altruistic, that was Lance to her.

Sometimes he would be all that to a fault, she never liked it when he was being self-sacrificial or dismissive of his feelings. It was one thing she feared after she asked him to go on the mission with her. 

But after their talk she realized that Lance wanted this as much as her but that he was scared of how his family was going to react, Pidge understood.  
His homesickness would sometimes overwhelm him, Lance cared a great deal about his family and when they were still team Voltron, he would often stay up at night worrying over their safety, Pidge would often join him as she stayed up looking for ways to find and rescue her brother and father.

Pidge admired how he openly showed the love he held for his family, how he had shown his love for Allura when they were together, it had hurt to see but Pidge couldn't deny it was something she had admired about Lance and all his relationships. 

He gave love so willingly but not to her, not in the way she wanted it.

Had wanted it. 

Had......

She didn't want his love, not that kind. 

She was fine. 

It felt harder to convince herself of it the more she thought about it. 

Something had changed in just a day and Pidge wondered if it was good or bad when she heard footsteps rapidly approaching her.

Lance skidded to a stop in front of her, out of breath, his pale blue dress shirt wrinkled and hair tousled. 

"Took you long enough."

Pidge chided him half-heartedly. 

"Yeah, sorry, Kellson didn't want to let me go without grading all my papers." Lance adjusted his shirt and made sure his hair was back in place. 

He looked better with his hair out of place, Pidge observed before quickly stopping to think about other situations his hair might be tousled and his blue shirt might left forgotten on her apartment floor.

Trying to distract herself from her own imagination, Pidge checked her phone again to see what bus they'd need to take to get to Lance's house. 

"We can take the next bus, it'll be here in like five minutes."

She put away her phone, finding Lance staring at her with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before snapping out of his funk and fishing a car key out of his jeans pocket. A huge grin came to his face as he grabbed her hand and dragged Pidge towards the parking lot. 

"I got Rizavi to lend her car to me."

Pidge quirked her eyebrows. 

"You lent from Nadia? What did it cost you? That car is her baby. " 

"Yeah, I needed to give up my desserts for three months just to be able to negotiate with her."

Pidge laughed and Lance already knew those missed cups of jello were worth it.

"Why would you do that?" she asked him through laughs. 

Lance stared at her as they walked through the rows of cars. 

Lance let go of her hand and Pidge felt the need to have the warmth of his hand on her again but his words were warm enough to heat up her heart. 

"Why wouldn't I for you?" Lance spoke, his face shining with some weird sort of pride Pidge couldn't place.

Before an awkward silence could form, Lance threw Pidge the keys and leaned against the side of a dark red car. It reminded her of the old convertible her dad used to have, before the war. Although this model was more streamlined and looked similar to a Lamborghini from her grandparent's time, Pidge wondered where Nadia had gotten this model and what kind of operating system it used.

She shot Lance a look as if too ask if he really wanted to let her drive, he just smiled at her and jumped into the passenger seat. With a small grin to herself, Pidge unlocked the car doors and entered the car like a normal person.

"Here hold my flowers." Pidge said giving the purple flowers to Lance as she strapped herself in and changed her glass from normal ones to sunglasses before starting the ignition.

"I got your flowers, you didn't have to buy them for me but I do so much appreciate it Pigeon." Lance joked as he put his seatbelt on and Pidge slowly pulled out the parking lot. 

"They're for your mom, you dingus. At what time do you think she'll have her dinner ready by the way?"

Lance frowned at Pidge's question.

"She's usually done at around six thirty, why?" he asked back in curiosity. 

Pidge grinned as she quickly drived onto the highway.

"I thought we might take a small detour to see what this baby can do."

The exit she wanted came by soon enough and Lance could only sit in awe as they reached an outstretched road in the middle of the desert surrounding the Garrison. It was only them and Pidge accelerated so the landscape flashed by, the horizon before them, the sun setting on Pidge's side and Lance felt his heart swell with the wind whipping through his hair.

It was perfect freedom as Lance threw his arms up in the air as if he could grasp the wind in his hands. 

"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" 

He yelled into the sky making Pidge laugh at his antics.  
The sun made her hair turn to gold, he couldn't see the look in her eyes because of her shades but her giant grin told him enough. 

Pidge glanced at Lance while he admired the view some more.  
She had really been right before, his hair looked better tousled.


	10. Chapter 10

Pidge switched her sunglasses back to her normal ones as she exited Nadia's car with Lance.

Lance's family home was still as welcoming as always, warms light spilled from the windows and she could already hear his family talking and laughing from within the house. 

Lance handed Pidge her flowers back, she studied his face as he smoothed his hair back down, his happy expression from before had dimmed and Pidge could guess he still hadn't told his parents about the mission. 

"Are you going to tell them tonight?" she asked as they walked over to the porch, Lance rubbed his neck and fumbled for his keys.

"I'll tell them, just need to prepare myself is all."

Lance said a strained smile on his face, Pidge put a hand on his arm. 

"I can help with telling them."

Lance laughed softly at her words, he had vowed to make Pidge fall in love with him but it seemed she was the one making him fall for her even more.  
He wanted her help he truly did, but telling his parents he wanted to leave home was something Lance needed to do on his own.  
Still, he thanked Pidge and opened the front door to his family's house.

Pidge entered Lance's home and was greeted by a kitchen full of people welcoming her into their home. Lance's niece, Nadia, and nephew, Sylvio, sat at the dinner table doing homework with Lance's older brother Luis.

Luis' wife Lisa was helping Veronica with going over a report looking for faulty grammar, sentence structure or spelling as Lisa had a degree in the English language. The youngest McClain sibling, Rachel, was leaning over the kitchen bar tasting everything her father just so happened to put on the counter within her reach. Lance's parents were cooking in the kitchen with Lance's other older brother Marco, Pidge's mouth was already watering at the smell coming from the kitchen.

Lance's mother, Carla welcomed her with a strong hug and Pidge handed her the bouquet of purple carnations.

"Ahww, Katie, you didn't have to."

She said as she asked her son Marco to put the flowers in some water.  
Pidge waved her away with a grateful smile. 

"It's a thank you for letting me eat here, Carla, think nothing of it."

The older woman laughed heartily as she went back to stirring in her pots next to her husband who was cutting the vegetables. 

"Las majaderías, we love having you over here. I always ask Lance to bring you over more but the boy always says you're busy."

Lance popped his head out from the fridge where he took out a bottle of lemonade and made a glass for both him and Pidge.

"Mamá, you know Pidge is one of the best and most busiest scientists at the Garrison." Lance said as he leaned against the kitchen counter, Pidge stood next to him. She looked between Lance and his mother, Lance hadn't told her that his mom wanted her to come over more often. But Pidge let it slide, there were more pressing matters she should focus on. 

"It is true, especially with the new mission coming up." Pidge said before sipping her drink, ignoring the poignant stare Lance was throwing her. Pidge didn't miss the way Veronica's head popped up from behind her laptop and shot Lance a thoughtful look before going back to her work with Lisa. 'I just told her I am going to tell them!' Lance thought, how could she then start to push him into doing it. Pidge thought that maybe he didn't want her help with telling them after all but he essentially got the job already, it was better to do it sooner rather than later, and Pidge just knew Lance was going to delay telling them until the last possible moment. 

Carla looked at Pidge for a moment, Lance's niece and nephew yelled for her to tell them more as they almost leaped over the kitchen table, abandoning their homework and their father.  
Rachel, together with Nadia and Sylvio, stared eagerly at Pidge and listened in wonder as she explained what her mission entailed and how it was of the up most importance that Lance's niece and nephew kept this a secret. 

"Really now, that must be quite exciting." Raúl, Lance's father, told her as Pidge offered to deck the table with Lance, while Luis, Veronica and Lisa cleared the surface of their stuff.

"It is, I just hope to get the job. I'll need to make my case on Friday before the board." Pidge said as she put down plates, Lance was across from her putting down forks and knives, he had his eyes trained on the table cloth, his face spelled indifference as she talked. 

'What is she doing!?' 

Lance thought as he tried to not lose it and drag Pidge out of the room.

" I'm sure you'll get the job, there is no one more qualified than you." Veronica said nodding at Pidge and than looking to Lance. Pidge got the feeling Veronica understood what was going on, she nodded back. Lance noted the little exchange and knew that his sister had figured out the reason he wanted to get off-planet.

"With that logic, you and Lance are also qualified." Pidge said as she put down the last plate.  
"Why don't you guys apply for position? I'm sure there are still vacancies for system researchers and pilots."

Lance aggressively put down a fork on the table gaining Pidge's and Veronica's attention, He shot them a look.

Lance knew they were only trying to help but this only added pressure on him to tell them and he couldn't, not right now........  
He wouldn't want an awkward dinner after all.  
He turned to Pidge with a disappointed look and a small shake of his head, it was a sight that hurt Pidge more than anything, maybe she had gone too far. 

Veronica was quick to diffuse the situation between Pidge and Lance. "Well, I think I'll stay within the Milky-way for the time being, but what are the qualifications anyway?"

Pidge shook her head once, letting him know she understood and followed Veronica's lead in taking the conversation to another topic. 

The rest of the night felt like most times she ate at the McClain house, it was loud and busy and full of laughter. The only difference was that Lance didn't talk to her the entire time they were at the table, sure he might talk about her but he never talked directly to her.  
He didn't tell he another embarrassing story about Rachel or Marco, he didn't tell her about his niece's and nephew's accomplishments at school.  
And by the end of the dinner Pidge felt worse than she let on. 

She had pushed him away yesterday and had over stepped her boundaries the next, this wasn't what their friend's hip was supposed to be, this wasn't what it should be.  
Had she pressured him into this, into going on this mission. Pidge had thought so before but now she might actually believe it, she was pushing him to part with his family.

But he would tell her if he felt that way right? They had been friends for so long, so why wouldn't he?  
But what if he didn't want to hurt her feelings?  
He was always so nice to her, at she thought it was because she is his friend but now she knew he was a kind person at heart, what if he was only friends with her because he pitied her, because he felt obligated to after everyth-

"Katie do you want ice-cream or cake?" Carla called as, the table had been cleaned up and most people had moved to the heated back porch. It was only Pidge, Lance, Carla and Veronica in the kitchen as Lance and Veronica helped making desserts ready for the others. 

"I-" Pidge looked at Lance, wanting to find.......something, but it wasn't there. 

"I think I'll head home for now, Carla. Maybe next time."  
Pidge said, a fake smile on her face as her skin began to pale, she needed to get out of here. 

"Querida, are you alright? Are you sure you don't want to stay longer?" Carla asked, putting down her knife for cutting the cake, worried that Pidge might have a stomachache. 

Pidge however was quick to dismiss her, taking out her phone and getting herself a cab back home. "I have some paperwork that I need to finish for tomorrow, I'm sorry I can't stay longer."

"I can drive you back, we still have Rizavi's car."

It was the first time since dinner Lance talked to her directly, Pidge's phone almost slipped from her hand at the sound of his voice.

"No! no, it's fine. I'll get a cab, so you can stay here and be with your family some more."

Lance's face fell, maybe he had overreacted, maybe ignoring her during dinner hadn't been a good idea.

"Let me at least walk you out and wait with you for your cab." he said while washing his hands of any ice-cream that was on it when he was making sundaes for Luis and his dad.

Pidge was about to decline his offer when Lance took her by the shoulders and pushed her out of the kitchen and through the front door, leaving his mother and sister, a bit confused, behind in the kitchen. 

Once the front door fell closed Lance let go of Pidge, asking her;

"Are you sure you're alright?"

It was the only thing he was brave enough to ask her, and he wasn't even looking at her when he did, she didn't turn around either as she answered him.

"I'm fine, I just think it would be best if I leave you alone, with your family."

They way she almost didn't finish her sentence after the word 'alone' caused a pang of hurt in Lance's heart, this was the opposite from trying to woo Pidge. This was only going to distance them from one another but in th moment they both felt hurt and they just wanted it to stop.

"I'll tell them tonight if that's what you want to hear." Lance said.

At this Pidge spun around so fast she might have lost her balance. 

"Are you doing this because of me!?" she almost yelled at him with a desperation Pidge herself didn't know she had. When Lance didn't grasp the meaning behind her words fast enough to respond Pidge went on talking. 

"I don't want you to do this because of me, I don't want you to feel forced or pressured into this-"

Lance took a step towards her and tried to talk to her as she rambled on. "Pid-"

She didn't let up and kept on spewing out word after word. Not realizing what she was saying. "But I don't expect you to take my opinion into consideration, I don't think you hold me in such high regard-"

Lance took a hold of her hands by their wrist, she had started to tug at her hair. This sudden frantic state she was in didn't make sense to the both of them but still Pidge kept going as Lance tried again to interrupt her. 

"Pidge, stop, what-"

"I don't expect you to like me!" She bit her tongue to late, she felt Lance freeze up. 

Only silence past between them. 

Years of repressed emotion, the stress she was under to get that job for the mission, the knowledge that she would leave her family behind to go into space, the excitement that came with it and guilt she felt whenever she thought that she may have pressured Lance into going with her had caused her to explode like this. 

And for what? 

For her cab to arrive and for Pidge to rip her hands free of his hold, not even daring to look at him when she entered the car and drove of, leaving him alone, leaving him to curse himself for not saying he liked her back.


End file.
